Whisper of the Heart Ch. 2

“We accept the love we think we deserve.”  

―  Stephen  Chbosky ,  The Perks of Being a Wallflower



Shaw had to admit, her little heist with Tomas was exactly what she needed to get her spirits up. To shake off the remnants of her time spent with Samaritan, to feel like herself again. Of course, it meant denying Tomas yet another offer for her to join him in Venice, but surprisingly this time the get-away card didn’t intrigue her as much. She thanked him for the fun, told him to give her another call if he had another one of these little heists in the future, and went on her way.  



Not that I'm complaining but Tomas doesn't seem as hot as he used to be. Weird.



As much fun as Shaw had she was really needing some not so much human interaction at the moment. Maybe take Bear for a walk or play fetch with him while she drinks a cold beer.  



Walking into their subway station, Shaw hadn’t initially questioned the absence of Bear. In fact, it’s not until she spends a few extended moments watching Finch  typing away on his computer and Reese idly munching on a sandwich (which she was pretty sure was one of hers that she had left in the fridge earlier) that she noticed the dog’s absence .  



Exasperated, Shaw huffs before sticking her hands in her pockets and glaring daggers at the two of them, “Did you two lose Bear somewhere?”  



Reese tried to mumble a reply through his sandwich, but almost choked. Finch looked up, pushing his glasses back up his nose, and sighed, “Miss Groves asked to borrow him for her trip out of town. I offered  John or myself to go, but she only would accept Bear as her road trip companion. Speaking of which, you should hurry to meet her at her destination, Ms. Shaw.”  

“Come on Harold, I  just got back, let me eat something first. She can handle things until I get there.”  



“I beg to differ. I assume then that the Machine has yet to inform you, if you are still unaware of Ms. Groves’ situation?”  



Snatching the other half of her sandwich from John’s grasp,  she just glared at him, “Well, I haven’t exactly had my attention on my phone lately, Harold. I just got done with a heist. Besides I just thought Root had some sort of personal thing going on, right?”  



“That’s correct. You remember when Samantha was captured by Control and tortured, correct?”  



Stuffing the sandwich into her mouth, Shaw mumbled, “Yeah, so?”  



Almost irritated Finch continued, "Control utilized  what's referred to as the “Twilight Zone” method. The sheer amount of  barbiturates and amphetamines that she was injected with almost killed her, and while  luckily she survived, the rapid alternation between the two drugs had dire consequences on her heart. The Machine has sent her to collect a new heart, Ms. Shaw. She’ll be having a surgery  while she’s away."  



Swallowing the remnants of her sandwich Shaw just stared at the table in front of her trying to digest what Finch had said to her more than she was trying to digest that sandwich she just consumed. Fisting her hands on her lap Shaw tensed at the thought  that she had missed all the signs and let Root go alone.  



"Originally , she had wanted you to  go  but she didn’t want to burden you with it. She felt you needed your time out with  Tomas .  She wanted you to be happy  and if  your going out on this little heist would heal you in anyway that was good enough for her.”



Taking a breath he stared at the wide-eyed Persian now ignoring  the rest of  her sandwich, “All she asked of me was that as soon as you returned to send you in her direction.”  



Shaw stood, slamming her hands on the table next to her, “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”  



Reese shook his head, “You know, Shaw, you’re not the only one that was broken by Samaritan after you left us. I saw how dark Root got, I don’t blame her. After Carter died, I wanted to kill every person that took her away. Heck, I wanted to help kill every Samaritan agent that we came across. But Root, she wouldn’t give up. She pushed herself, despite how sick it was making her. Then, when we had to fight to save the Machine, I remember how broken and lost she looked. She told me that if she couldn’t save the Machine there was no possible way she could save you. So she kept fighting, and it nearly killed her then. Now, now she’s the one dying. So I suggest you get off your ass and go be with her so that she doesn’t have to go through it alone. Go so she doesn’t die of a broken heart .”  



Shaw didn't know when John had become such a poet, such a romantic. She internally scoffed at the idea of romance. But knew that what John was saying was as annoying  as it sounded, all of it was right. And it made her insides hurt. She bit her lip and  to keep herself from yelling, yelling at herself, at John and Harold, at the universe for making her care so damn much.  



“John is right, I’ll send her destinations coordinates to your phone. She may have Bear’s company for now but it’s no medicine compared to yours. Now that the two of you both have a second chance at life I warn you not to have any regrets. There is no doubt that she loves you," Harold chancing a look out of the corner of his eye at the flinch he see's come from Shaw's once stoic form, "You may say you don’t have feelings, but we know that you feel the same for her. Do not let her do this alone. You will surely regret it if she dies and you’re not there by her side, if anything happens,”  Finch finishes, and quickly turns back to his computer screen, making it clear he will not be  discussing  it further with her .  



John almost seemed stand -offish as he dug his hands into his pockets and tried to find the words Shaw knew he was trying to  choose carefully.  



“A lot has happened since you were gone, Shaw. And Root … she’s  one of us now. We’ve been through a lot and I guess you can say that brought us all closer. You can’t save the world and an AI  without some sort of bonding. And torturing some people along the way kind of helps in that  area too. Just, go get your girl Shaw before I kick your ass.”  



Taking a defensive stance Shaw dug her nails into her palms so hard she could draw blood if she wanted, "First off, who said anything about me loving Root? I don't do love, I don't do feelings. I just indulge her clinginess because she buys me food and brings on the numbers. But since you've gotten so sentimental on me while I've been gone I guess I'll have to go, right? Because if things go wrong I doubt you two can handle this better then I can."  

So Shaw grabbed her favorite gun and her favorite jacket and snagged the last of her sandwich off the table as she headed back towards the exit. She smirked as she heard her phone beep with the coordinates, she tossed over her shoulder, “And John, you’d be the one getting your ass kicked ."  



Starting up her motorcycle Shaw mentally kicked herself for being such an oblivious jackass. She was a doctor- she should’ve known. Maybe she had subconsciously noticed it but, for whatever reason, it hadn’t registered that Root might actually be sick. Yes, she’d noticed how pale Root was and how exhausted she seemed all the time, but she’d thought the medication Root was taking was to help with just that- to help her sleep. Maybe if she had bothered to look at the bottles she would’ve known, but Root  hadn’t said anything.  And she wasn't about to get into Root's business even though part of her was nagging her to investigate. Shaw was trying to balance her old self with her new self. She wasn't used to caring and she wasn't about to admit to herself  and to Finch or John that she cared. If she did then that would make it real and she'd have to deal with it and right now she wasn't ready to deal with it.  



You idiot, Root. Why didn’t you tell me? Was it because you thought I was so broken, so weak that you didn’t want to burden me with your dying? It’s my fault you were captured by Control and tortured . I didn’t think about the consequences of my saving you all. I didn’t know how much my dying would affect you…. I guess about as much as yours would send me out to kill every person that hurt you.



Checking her phones coordinates she sped off.  



Keep her safe, Bear. I’m on my way, Root.