I lost myself
In a crowd of a million people
I forgot who I am
Lost my path
Couldn’t put pen to paper
Words forget me
And these shoulders feel so heavy
How did I get here?
this angerI’m so angry that there isn’t enough words in the world to throw at you
I will never let you make me feel like I’m worthless ever again
You small little retch
I will pierce you with resentment and vengeance
I refuse to be good
I will never kneel
Never give up, never give in
I am strong and you are weak
Disappear, disappear, disappear.
Reborn From AshesThis time last year I was homeless
This time this year I’m not quite homeless but don’t quite have a home
It’s like we’re stuck in limbo
Walking around with n95 masks
Like we’re living in some sort of war zone
Our homes, our forests, our livelihoods are going up in flames
Nobody is grieving for us except for those who live here
California, the golden state
Home of the grizzly bear
Big and strong
We will not fade away like this great creature for its spirit lives in all of us
We wonder, will our homes still be there
Will our jobs still be there
Will our schools still be there
Friends and family will they come back
Hold on tight, hold on strong
While the brave women and men fight on the front lines to keep us safe
To save our state
We will rebuild, we will overcome
We will shine brightly like the golden state that we are
Through the exhaustion and uncertainty
From the ashes we will be reborn.
Whisper of the Heart Ch. 2“We accept the love we think we deserve.”
― Stephen Chbosky , The Perks of Being a Wallflower
Shaw had to admit, her little heist with Tomas was exactly what she needed to get her spirits up. To shake off the remnants of her time spent with Samaritan, to feel like herself again. Of course, it meant denying Tomas yet another offer for her to join him in Venice, but surprisingly this time the get-away card didn’t intrigue her as much. She thanked him for the fun, told him to give her another call if he had another one of these little heists in the future, and went on her way.
Not that I'm complaining but Tomas doesn't seem as hot as he used to be. Weird.
As much fun as Shaw had she was really needing some not so much human interaction at the moment. Maybe take Bear for a walk or play fetch with him while she drinks a cold beer.
Walking into their subway station, Shaw hadn’t initially questioned the absence
Whisper of the Heart Ch. 1“If you gave someone your heart and they died, did they take it with them? Did you spend the rest of forever with a hole inside you that couldn't be filled?”
― Jodi Picoult, Nineteen Minutes
It was freezing cold when Root woke up that Friday morning. Noticing Shaw’s absence, she whimpered and rolled on her side, pulling Shaw’s pillow to her chest.
It wasn’t like Shaw to disappear on her, at least not now. Not after the “War of Gods”, as she had so delightedly called it. There were some casualties of war. Shaw was broken and Root was dying...well at least until she could find a suitable donor.
And that donor just pulled up in Root’s ear via the Machine.
“You contacted the donor? A healthy heart, I feel like you’re spoiling me….No, she doesn’t need to know yet. Speaking of, where did she go?” Root sat up a little too quickly at the Machine’s response causing her to feel lighthe
Three HoursFirst Hour
This was one of those moments where Shaw had the right to not be happy and boy was she not happy. They were supposedly on their way to deal with a number when their elevator got stuck…stuck! What were the odds of that happening, especially getting stuck with Root, the Machines main link? She swore if this was some sort of sick joke the Machine was playing she was going to kick it’s ass.
“This is your fault, you realize that don’t you?”
Root seemed unaffected by their predicament and just grinned, “Oh? And how is that?”
Shaw crossed her arms across her chest and glared at the hacker, “Anything to get me alone with you.”
“If I wanted to get you alone, I would be able to do that anywhere. I wouldn’t have to resort to getting us stuck in an elevator, Shaw.”
Shaw noticed the use of her last name, normally it was Sameen or Sam, Root only used Shaw if she wasn’t in one of her flirty moods which isn
HopeRoot hears screams and cries as if a heart is breaking and oh how she tries to keep her composure. She falters a step. Tears gathered in those eyes, eyes so lost almost like in a maze. There is Shaw with a gun pointed at Root’s frozen form. A stoic look, like she’s seeing with eyes clouded by a veil. There’s a pleading cry from Root, there’s no Machine to talk her back from the edge. In fact the edge of the dock she’s on is right below her feet but she’s more concerned about the woman in front of her. Ignoring the gun in Shaw’s hand, Root could care less. All she cares is that Shaw is there standing in front of her, alive, after she had searched for her for so long.
She pleads for her to come, pleads to remember who they were, pleads to her voiceless God to return Sameen to her. Then there’s a piercing in her stomach, she hadn’t even heard the echo of the gun going off in the Persian’s hand. But Root didn’t care, this wa
En GardeShaw didn’t think she’d ever be in this position, she’s never thought of using a sword before. She must admit though that Root looks pretty hot dressed all in white holding a saber sword. She knew she shouldn’t have cracked a remark about fencing not being a real sport the moment she saw Root glare and throw a knife at the wall behind her. It’s a good thing Root wasn’t into cheerleading or else she’d probably find herself being forced to try that out too, because cheerleading was definitely not a sport. Though Root in a cheerleader uniform isn’t necessarily a bad thing either.
Root was also pretty hot when she was pissed.
“Yeah, yeah,” Shaw took the stance that she saw Root having taken earlier in her practice, “So tell me again why I have to do this?”
Before lowering her mask Root glared and huffed out, “So you can learn some respect,” before she flipped her mask down.
Punch-OutShaw made it to her front door, key in the lock, and a noise erupted from inside. Shaw growled and knew exactly who that noise came from.
Damn it, Root. How many times are you going to sneak into my apartment?
And sure enough there was Root attached to her Wii controller, ever since she got the damn thing Root had been monopolizing it every chance she got.
Looks like she’s trying out my new boxing game, cute.
Sneaking up behind the unsuspecting Root, Shaw tapped her on the shoulder and her a squeak before she was ducking a bunch to the face.
“What the hell, Root!?”
“Sameen, what..what are you doing here?”
“Uh, I live here. What do I have to do to get you to stop breaking into my apartment?”
“Sorry, I just, I didn’t know Wii’s could be so addicting. And I thought this new game of yours could teach me some pointers,” blushing Root dropped her hands to her sides and made it seem like the carpet was a lot more interes
PreciousSameen: (adj.) precious, valuable; random, straight-forward, and determined.
Sameen Shaw hadn’t seen it coming, her attention was too focused on arguing with Root. Rather it was just her yelling at the hacker for treating her like a child, she was contained by Samaritan for a few months, she wasn’t an invalid. But Root’s constant babying was getting on her nerves. It was only getting on her nerves because she couldn’t admit to herself how broken she really was. Course the anger and grumpiness was still there but she had moments where she felt like the average person could and needless to say she hated it.
Nightmares haunted her. Some nights she woke up screaming, unable to control the shaking and the tears. So many tears. Like her whole lifetime of sadness she should’ve felt, all the tears she should’ve cried, were pouring out of her. Her pride wouldn’t let her admit to herself that she was broken. She couldn’t
Dear mother, dear father
Dear brother, dear sister
Don't worry, you still have each other
And without me you're all so much stronger
Leave me behind and let me go, I promise the days will get brighter
Dear teachers, dear counselors
Dear therapists, dear doctors
You have my gratitude for what you all did
But I hit rock bottom too many times, and this last one was it
The end of the road again, as if no one could have kept me from a coffin
I was not fit to live life
I failed at everything, every time
I sincerely did my very best, I really tried
I just could no longer stand feeling so powerless inside
I lay wide awake every night
I prayed and prayed and asked "why?"
I was always silently drowning in the tears I cried
I am done with suffering, so this is where I draw the line
This is the end
One with a resentful beginning
It all came crashing down to nothing
It's what's only right, so I know what I'm doing
Dear friends, dear betrayers
Dear relatives, dear des
LesbianGod loved the two girls at the end of my street.
Everywhere they went, they went together,
hand-in-hand so they didn't get lost,
laughing at everything and nothing
all at once.
He was so proud of them.
They never stole, they never swore,
they brushed their teeth twice a day
and always said their prayers.
It was a gift, said the townspeople,
that two girls as perfect as they were
were born in the same place.
an even greater gift, said they,
that those two were the best of friends.
Long nights spent giggling in rooms with closed doors
was a good thing, back then.
halfway between their houses
and in the middle of the street,
they realized that they loved each other.
A gaze lingered a moment too long,
a heart beat a little too fast...
They kissed for the first time on a park bench,
hidden from the rest of the world.
God doesn't love them anymore.
A simple HeartHe remains bewildered before her calm eyes,
a sorry escaping his lips for the millionth time.
Yet with a shrug, she smiles and lets him know
it no longer mattered, he only tore a heart in two.
I DON'T BECAUSE...I don't start conversations
because I feel like I'm being annoying.
I feel like I'm being clingy and desperate
and that no one will care,
but rather look for an escape route.
I don't walk up to people
because I feel like I'm being intrusive.
I wasn't invited, so what right do I have to approach them
and try to mingle?
I don't say much
because I don't feel right
burdening other people with my thoughts
or my problems.
They're mine; I should suffer them alone.
I don't ask for anything
because I feel like I'm being needy.
Others shouldn't have to provide for me,
even when I cannot provide for myself.
I should be able to take care of it
and fix things on my own.
I don't put myself in the spotlight
because who am I to strut around as a peacock?
Besides, I'll probably only end up making a fool of myself.
I don't compliment myself
because I feel like I'm being so vain.
So I won't believe your compliments either.
I don't come around you much
because I'm afraid you'll
HetaliaxDepressed!Reader:Self-Inflicted AchromaticHetalia x Scary! Depressed! Reader: Self-Inflicted Achromatic
I want to be a person just like you, don't you see?
I want to be a person who is still being "me"
A tired sigh escaped your lips. You were just so damn tired. The other countries said that you, (f/n) or (c/n), was scarier than Russia himself. But of course, you have lived 2500 years with wars and bloodshed always trailing after you. You just really want to be happy. But all those wars and blood imprinted on your mind, you really just released off a dark (a/c) aura and a stoic atmosphere.
It really would be nice but I'm paying a price
'Cause I'd really, not be me and that would not suffice
You asked yourself, "I know my face doesn't show my pain. But isn't it obvious in my eyes? I'm lonely and hurt" You rubbed your numb (s/c) wrist, yesterday's cuts still had a colorless ache to it. You picked your silver knife, twirling it around watching the others argue. The said knife is the one you also use to cut yourself.
A dream which
God Told me a Secret (LGBT+ Rights)God told me a secret last night before bed,
He leaned into my ear and silently said:
"I love you my child, I really do.
"I hate none of my children, it really is true;
"But I am real angry, not with the gay, bi or straight,
"I am angered with those who only spread hate...
"This world I created is now such a sad place...
"It has been ruined by the human race.
"Why should it matter who my children date?
"It is their life so you shouldn't spread hate!
"And then when you say, 'I hate because of religion!'
"You need to open your eyes and see that hate's YOUR decision!
"You can choose between peace or spreading this hate!
"You can choose to love the gay, bi and straight!
"But as soon as you choose to hold some dumb useless grudge,
"Know that it's you who I will judge!
"All my children from all around the globe,
"Stop being such a homophobe!
"All my other creatures can get along great!
"Why is it just humans who choose to spread hate?
"I am so angry, so filled up with rage!
"My children must
One DayI just can't do things right by your light.
Though try as I might,
I just can't win this fight.
I'm tired of playing this ridiculous game.
You want all the fame.
I get nothing but shame.
It's so lame how there's not a thing I can gain.
You only drive me insane.
I'm tired of doing all the work. What a pain.
I work and I cook and I clean.
You spend your time doing nothing.
And what do you mean I don't deserve anything?
You game and you eat and you watch your TV.
You say you'll do better but your promises are empty.
I feel like a slave. I'm not the slightest bit free.
One day I'll leave and there won't be a thing
You can do to stop it. You'll give me a ring
On the phone but I'll be long gone. And I'll sing
Because for the first time in months
I'll be happy.
SLIPPING Slipping slipping
I almost had it right in my palms
AWAY Away away
My eyes open wide like my lungs
GASPING Gasping gasping
Accumulated back into this world as I awake
PAIN Pain pain
Gathering the moments of the dream before it fades
REAPING Reaping reaping
My desired world is always taken from me
FAITH Faith faith
I never wanted it to be make belief
FEELING Feeling feeling
That unaware sensation is being ripped
BLAME Blame blame
But it's as if I am the one that is torn to shreds